I can’t explain it, but for some reason whenever The Wife says the words, “We Can’t Afford It” my blood boils. I mean makes me argue something fierce. Hell, even writing about it makes me use weird terms like “something fierce.”  The anger can actually compound if those words are,

  • Said to someone else; and/or
  • When the item/thing/vacation in question is relatively inexpensive.

A perfect example, that actually inspired this post happened this past weekend. The Wife and I were at her parents and they had a bunch of their friends over. I was involved in a completely different conversation about scotch, football or my hatred of government spending and waste, and then it happened those words were uttered by The Wife and my spidey senses went off.  I immediately ignored those that I was talking to and snapped at the Wife something along the lines of “We can afford it, I’ll go buy it right now.” I don’t even remember what she was talking about, but it was something stupid like a new TV or adding the equivalent to what we spend in Pizza (New York has the best pizza) to her lease payment.

I have three theories why this statement makes me go crazy, and I don’t think they are mutually exclusive:

  1. The first theory has to do with genetics and social norms.  I truly believe there is a natural genetic predisposition for me, the Male, to want to be the provider, and those words indicate that I am failing.  So inside when I can’t provide something as simple as a new TV, what is my purpose?!
  2. The second theory is that she is wrong!  We can afford it!  Most of the time, when The Wife makes these statements they are utterly ridiculous (not all the time, but most of the time).  Her Christmas gift was a hardcore badass camera, if I can do that with no credit card debt, why can’t I go buy a TV or add 10% to 20% to a lease payment that we are already paying for.
  3. The third theory has to do with my personal issues regarding money.  I think the reason why I love blogging so much, is that it is private.  While I work in a Financial Planning firm and deal with Trust and Estate Issues on a daily basis, I don’t discuss my family’s money situation with anyone, so when she does it…I get annoyed.

There it is, those are my 3 theories why the words “We Can’t Afford it” piss me off.  I think you can guess what I believe it is – #2!  We have no credit card debt, we are saving liquid dollars every month, we have a very loose budget, we are saving for our retirement despite both being under 30, own our condo (with approximately $50K to $60K of equity).

I believe we don’t really limit the purchase of anything that we really want because of money, but rather, at least I believe, we don’t purchase these things because they limit our long term goals, objectives and dreams not because the money isn’t in the bank.

Since I don’t believe I am deep enough to look inside and really find a perfect answer, it matters not what I think – but only what you think.  So Please tell me!