As I sit and try to write a post tonight/this morning (I know I should have posts prepared for days in advance) my mind kept racing back to one topic, and since this blog is anonymous why shouldn’t I bring it up.  It has nothing to do with finance, but doesn’t get more personal than this.

I had announced on June 19, 2009 that My Journey and The Wife were expecting their first child.  I was pumped, but after three weeks, three appointments with the OB GYN, and three separate sonograms – it was determined that The Wife had a miscarriage.

Specifically, the wife suffered a Blighted Ovum which wikipedia defines as,

An anembryonic gestation (aka blighted ovum) is a pregnancy in which the very early pregnancy appears normal on an ultrasound scan, but as the pregnancy progresses a visible embryo never develops. In a normal pregnancy, an embryo would be visible on an ultrasound by six weeks after the woman’s last menstrual period.

An anembryonic gestation is characterized by a normal-appearing gestational sac, but the absence of an embryo. It likely occurs as a result of early embryonic death with continued development of the trophoblast.

Luckily, we have a lot of great friends and amazing family who have been amazing throughout this ordeal, and have attempted to offered all the usual clichés (better now than later, everything happens for a reason, etc) but no matter what in the end, it just sucks.  I know the statement, “it just sucks” makes me sound like 14 year old, but you know what? It does just suck.

A search on my site for “emotional wasteland” brings up four different instances when I highlight the fact that my wife refers to me as an emotional wasteland but man let me tell you this hurt a lot.  The pain I felt was in a word scary; The Wife and I would refer to it as our “little spot” or poppy seed, yet the admonishment that it was never going to see the light of day freaked me out.

If you’d like to read more of the details of the ordeal, feel free to head over to the Wife’s Blog which gives some real details in the post, “Our Loss.”