Some Recent Thoughts about Personal and Professional Relationships

In the past 10 days or so, and I have some very interesting conversations and interactions that have led to some thoughts on the broad topic of Relationships.  My three observations are not connected in anyway but rather some ideas I have come to over the past few days that have struck me as really interesting.

First some background, in the past 10 days or so:

  • I traveled from Long Island to Pennsylvania (2.5 Hours driving) then
  • Back to Long Island (another 2.5 Hours Driving) then 2 days later
  • I took a Flight to Las Vegas for Work (5 hours of flying) then
  • Back to Long Island (5 hours of flying)  and then 2 days later
  • I drive up to Binghamton, New York and then 1 day later
  • Back to Long Island (4 Hours of driving each way).

You Don’t Need to Brag about All Your Professional Relationships

While I was in Las Vegas for work I sat through a very interesting (and long) meeting about a new estate planning technique and the main presenter really got to me.  It seemed that almost every time he started a new thought (or repeating one he already made 16 times) he would have to name drop.

It almost got to a point where a lot of the room rolled their eyes each time he did this.  It was incredible.  This professional is very accomplished in his niche but he was either too insecure or couldn’t take the hint from the room.  Either way it really struck me as interesting.

I Partition Personal Relationships

When I was in between Vegas and Binghamton I got a few beers with some friends (fine it was more like 6 or 8) and I had a very profound conversation with one of my closest buddies.  We were meeting out a friend that I have more or less lost touch with and I have pretty much written the relationship off.  I don’t hate the guy, by any means, just have figured out that it is one of those friends that despite the history of a 15 or 16 years it is likely not to continue.  For argument’s sake we can call it my fault, despite, him only meeting my son twice in 15 months.

It was during the course of the conversation that I think there are two camps of people I put them in those that I expect things of (close friends and family) and those I don’t (everyone else) and if I don’t expect a lot from you then I also don’t really put a lot into the relationship.  So I think it bothered “Close Buddy” that this friend of ours for close to 2 decades may have jumped ship in my eyes.  I should say when I say “expect” I just mean some common courtesies like calling me or visiting me when I have a child lol.

Remember Your Family Relationships are Important Too

After going out the night before, it was time to head to Binghamton, New York.  We were heading up there for the wake/funeral of her Uncle (Father’s Brother), however, she hasn’t seen the man in about 20 years nor has her Father.  The deceased didn’t talk to anyone in the family (a total of 5 siblings), but in particular My Father-in-Law and the Uncle had a falling out about 20 years ago.  So I was expecting a quiet wake/funeral; I was wrong.

This guy, who had little to no relationship with his siblings and 10 nieces/nephews, was LOVED by the community where he lived.  The line to say a pray and say your condolences to the family literally didn’t stop from 4pm to 6:30pm.  The Church where the Funeral took place was PACKED and that was on a Monday Morning at 9am.  I think a lot of people really do take advantage of the built in relationship that families often (but obviously not always) provides.

 

I told you, no cohesive idea or theme but just some random thoughts about relationships from a very hectic 10 days.

5 Responses to Some Recent Thoughts about Personal and Professional Relationships

  1. I agree with the last statement, that some take advantage of built in relationships from families. I think lots of my family does that, without actually fostering relationships with aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. They just assume that since we’re family, they don’t have to make an effort.

  2. I have a friend who is like the one you described above. We’ve been friends for 12 years she has met my 3 year old once and has never met my almost 2 year old. But at the same time I’ve never done any of the things I should have done in our friendship either(aside from going to her wedding last year.) We live about 15 minutes away and never see or talk to one another. However, I would still call her one of my closest friends and very few get that title from me. Why, because I know that if one of us NEEDED the other for any reason we’d drop everything and be at the others side in a second. And when we do get to catch up absolutely nothing is different. Some relationships don’t need to constantly be nourished to remain strong. But of course it depends on the ppl involved in the relationship to determine how much effort needs to be put int

  3. Over those beers did you solve the worlds problems? and interesting thoughts – sometimes it makes you wonder if you dont like someone, but they’ve got a whole boatload of friends (like in your last thought) maybe it’s not them?

  4. It’s funny how your world shrinks when you have a kid. All of a sudden that very small human is the most important thing in your world. If I were a betting woman, I’d say the downgraded pal doesn’t have kids. Some people have a hard time transitioning when their friends have babies.

    Is your last linked-line a plug-in? Where you say “consider leaving a comment”?

  5. I think I’m in the same boat as you when it comes to close friends/family, I have high expectations of myself and of them when it comes to maintaining the relationship, but for everyone else I could take it or leave it.

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