It is Okay to Want Things but Don’t Justify that You Deserve It

It is Okay to Want Things but Don’t Justify that You Deserve It

high_horse

Last week, The Wife started to say things like, “Wow, that Keurig coffee maker seems really cool!”  I thought nothing of it since we have two coffee makers, one we got as a gift at her bridal shower and another she received to test out on her blog.  Both have cool features like built in bean grinding and espresso making  (not that we figured out how to make an espresso), so why would I think that something is “cool” means we need to replace not one but two machines.  Not much of a hint right?  Most wives are probably shaking their heads right now, but if you have read any of my stuff you probably already know I can be thick.

But then The Wife and I had a conversation that I really appreciated (she may disagree how it happened but this is how I remembered it):

The Wife: We are buying the Keurig

Me: Again, with the cups…jebus woman we already have 2 machines? We don’t need it (yes I sometimes use the words jebus and woman)

The Wife: I Just Want It

For the first time I can think of in our 10 year relationship (we have dated since college) she didn’t try to [poorly] justify the purchase, and I really actually appreciated it!  For any of you that have been following me for years, yes, this is the same The Wife that told me I can’t afford things I obviously can afford (linking to that post is a direct jab at The Wife lol).

Disclaimer: I have stated almost 3 years ago that The Wife is my Greatest Asset and that she almost never just wants to buy things unneeded ‘things’ unless they are ridiculous decorative pieces that go on a shelf somewhere.  My bookshelf has random baskets, words, this weird leaf looking thing…oh yeah and 7 books.    

Why Did I Appreciate The I Want It

Despite not really bringing up the subject with friends and family I am surrounded by Money Talk almost all the time.  I go to the office where I work with high net worth individuals usually on estate and business succession planning, but sometimes I get pulled into a budget conversation.  It doesn’t matter if you make $46,000 or $460,000 if you spend it all your net worth will not be growing, at least not in the short term (and probably not in the long term).  I then come home and read and comment on personal finance blogs.

It eats me alive inside when I read a blog written by someone who is obviously in money trouble and they talk about purchasing a table, a bag, a new computer, a new cell phone, etc.  and like the high net worth individual they try to justify the purchase with stupid idioms like

  • I deserve it
  • I work hard
  • I have been really good lately
  • I need it

You want to know what I really believe/question:

  • While I agree some people need a nice car 92% of newer cars are nice and will get you from point A to point B you don’t need to buy German
  • What did Moms do without the almighty SUV?
  • Almost every smart phone on the market has an App store you don’t need an iPhone
  • Every computer on the market will get you on the internet you don’t need a Mac/better PC equivalent
  • 3d TV – are you really above LED?
  • Your $150/month gym has the same treadmill as the $30/month gym since that is all you use anyway

While if you do some of the things I don’t believe you should complain about money, I don’t judge the purchase…I have my smart phone, I will eventually upgrade my computer before I need to, I belong to a gym that I don’t need…but I buy these because I want them and can afford them and that right is there is why I really appreciated The Wife just saying to me I want the Keurig.

What I do judge is the justification for the purchase.

/me jumping off my high horse

19 Responses to It is Okay to Want Things but Don’t Justify that You Deserve It

  1. I think it went down pretty much like that except I didn’t say “we are getting the Keurig”, I didn’t make it a statement. I said..”I know I don’t need it, but I really want the Keurig…can we get one”. lol Just wanted to point that out…And I stand by my comments about “not being able to afford” some things…just wanted to clear that up! :)

  2. Interesting situation! Next time that comes up, ask this question. What are you willing to give up to have this item? The question points out that life is a bunch of choices, because you can’t have everything. It also places pressure on the person who wants it to decide what they are willing to give up which could change their mind. Maybe?

  3. Wanting is a great thing. It can inspire striving and dedication to a goal. I “wanted” the 52″ flat screen in my living room for about a year and a half. I saved for it. I comparison shopped. I planned for its arrival and mounting. All of this was pleasurable, and now that’s finally on my wall, I love it. The problem with most consumers is their issues with delayed gratification and willingness to take on debt to fulfill their “want” needs which in actuality may be an attempt to placate a psychological need with a physical object. Your wife probably just wants easy coffee though.

    • I know exactly what you are saying! The planning part, writing about it here, going over savings details, etc., excites me as well

  4. We always like to make excuses to ourselves, but it’s true, sometimes we are just deluding ourselves into buying things we can’t afford. :P

  5. We’re doing the same thing right now with our house purchase. We’re already in sick student loan debt but “we make good money and we saved up a lot for the down payment”. I don’t believe houses are an investment and I think I am making rationalizations such as “can’t rent forever” and “someday we will want kids.” As if we can afford kids anytime soon. Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is…..we have the Keurig and I think it’s great! (lol).

    • As long as you have easy to make coffee the rest of that easy stuff like car payments, loans and mtgs will work themselves out hahaha

  6. It seems to cross over in every area of life. Justifications here and there and soon enough our life turns into d-e-n-i-a-l.
    “And when you’re in a Slump,
    you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done”.
    By Dr.Seuss, my hero.
    I don’t claim to have the key (but, I have seen the door:) Making small changes and beneficial decisions makes bigger ones that much easier.

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